Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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