Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
