also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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