if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
