Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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