Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
