But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
