Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
