I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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