so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize