I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize