ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
