Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
