how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
