yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
