Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
