Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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