im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
