my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
