she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
