It was confusing and full of hummus
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You left your phone here
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