Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He felt like a one man threesome
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
