my being single is dangerous.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize