he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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