butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
