Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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