Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
