did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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