I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
