Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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