Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
