shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
