i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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