dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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