She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
