Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well I just put wine in my tea
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
