I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
