I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize