the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
