I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This baby is an asshole
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
