after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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