i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
