In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
