I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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