my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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