whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
