You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
