remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I still have a little drunk in my system
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
