Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
