your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
