Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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