Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
