You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
