He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
