ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
