We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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