the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
