Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
