when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
