On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
