Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
